Get a Grip

Have  you ever gone through a time in your life when you lost faith in your ability to cope?  Not me…well, until recently.   Now, let me preface all this post with this statement. I’m not saying life is terrible for me.  I have moved to a place that has been my dream for the last 10 years.  I have a GREAT job with a boss who understands what it’s like to be a working mother of 5.  I’m closer to my husband than I’ve ever been.  And I have 5 amazing kids!  Things could definitely be worse.  I’m grateful that God has blessed my life is so many ways.

I have always prided myself on being able to handle any issues and problems that come my way.  Not only handle them, but do it gracefully.  But in the last year or so, this ability has begun to subside.  I have cried more in the last year than I have in the ten years that preceded our move. I have yelled more at my kids than ever. I’ve hid in a bathroom trying to hold in my emotions. Yes, there have been a few problems, mostly with the kids adjusting to our new life.  But it shouldn’t be enough to make me melt down. 

Maybe the wall of my heart is broken because I’m away from my parents and siblings.  Which, in the technological age we live in, shouldn’t be a problem.  I still call and talk to my family members almost every week.  It just doesn’t seem to be the same as being there, ya know?

Not only that, but I’m finding loneliness to be a problem. Please, don’t ask me how that can be when I have 6 people in my household.  But I don’t have any friends here yet to talk to, hang out with. And yes, as I said, I’m closer to my husband than I have been in 14 years. But with that comes this new clinginess I never knew was in me.  He recently went to visit his father for 4 days with 2 of the kids, and I was so sad without him.  I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to call him, but I didn’t. 

And on top of all this, I’m feeling like I’m not doing anything to make progress with my life.  I’m just feeling discontent. So all this new emotion is overwhelming and I’m just not knowing how to deal with it, except as usual to try and push it down deep. But that’s getting harder by the day. 

Anyone ever feel this way?  How did you deal with it?

Til next time,

Dee

Mommy Guilt….It’s Real

I’ve encountered something this last week that I’m having a difficult time dealing with, so I’m coming to you, my faithful readers, to help me through this.

As you know, we moved from our hometown in Michigan to Colorado.   The kids seem to adjust fairly well, though The Pro and PopQueen both were upset about moving away from their friends.  We stayed with family for a couple months before we found a place to rent. This meant the kids moved into a new school district twice.  The second one, was the one we were aiming for from the start because they are the best in the state and we want a good education for them so they can have a future.

So now, after being at the new school for a couple months, The Pro’s grades started slipping.  I was checking the schools parent portal, Powerschool, weekly.  I kept asking her why the problems and she would just shrug and say the work was harder.  A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from school saying she had been skipping, they talked to her, gave her a warning, etc. So we took her phone away temporarily and told her it would be permanent if she skipped again and I would pull her from the basketball team.  Then, last week we received a letter from her school.  She has been SKIPPING classes again.  She was suspended for a day and told she was breaking the law. She had like 17 absences in various classes and many more tardies.  We talked to her about it in a meeting at the school, with no communication on her part.  We (her parents) talked to her, mostly we talked, because she wouldn’t.  We took her phone, PSP, MP3 player and everything electronic away and pulled her from the team.  (She has since gone back because the team had 2 injuries leaving them up the creek without enough players and I felt it was her responsibility) Since then she hasn’t skipped, which is good, but I’m really struggling with this.

We’ve always talked to our kids about the importance of education.  We’ve always told them they are expected to either go to college or the military. She’s a great kid and we have never had any major problems with her. I’m struggling to understand why she’d do this.  With only 2 years of school left, doesn’t she see how important her education is…. Did we make the wrong decision by moving them away from everyone/thing they knew?  How do I convince her that she has to look to the future instead of looking to the past? Should I find a way to work at home so that I’m there for the kids, cuz I certainly am struggling with that myself?  When does this mommy guilt go away?  Never, I’m sure, but how do you deal with it.  Please, tell me how to deal with it…I’m feeling like the worst parent on the planet, ya know?

Suze Orman Free Ebook

Yup, she’s doing it again, Suze Orman’s releasing her new book in ebook format free but only available until 11:59 p.m. CT on Thursday, January 15. Not long. Get it while you can.  You can download it here.

What’s your story?

All my life, my sister and I joke that we are just average people.  Our entire family is just….average. We aren’t poor, but we aren’t wealthy.  (middle income…average).  We aren’t wildly successful, but we’re happy working jobs we like that help us to just get by.  We have never strived for anything greater in our lives.  We’re complacent.

This last year though, something has started to change in me.  We moved away from my family and everyone and everything I know,  and live across the county.  We did this because we didn’t want to be complacent with our children’s education and lives.  And now, this has awakened in me a new desire.  A desire to be more than a mere nobody. I don’t want to just be a regular gal.  I want to stand out, do something and be wildly successful. I want people to know who I am.  I want to find my passion and go for it!  On one hand, I know this is a bit conceited of me.  (to want people to know who I am) But on the other hand, I’m just plain old tired of being a nobody, living paycheck to paycheck and barely managing to get by.

I want my children to see that they must find their passion too and do everything in their power to make it the center of their lives.  So this year, THIS YEAR, is the year I do something, take some very real steps in making my passion and dreams a reality.  This is the year of DETERMINATION!

So follow along, if you’d like, to see how I make some much needed changes with my life.  And by all means, let me know how you found your passion and motivation.  What’s your story?

Britax carseat recall

Britax has voluntarily recalled their Frontier carseat.  Check out this link to see if yours has been recalled. 

 http://www.frontierrecall.com/

And while you are there, make sure to register for future recalls.