Busy Season or Why Can’t I Say No?

I don’t know about you all, but when school starts in September, life just seems to explode.  Between keeping up with kids school work, extracurricular activities and parties, and holding down a full time job while trying to blog in several places and be a good girl scout leader, well, I just don’t sit still for long. One of these days I’ll do a ”day in my life” post.  You’d be amazed what one woman can do when she doesn’t sit still for long. But I digress….this post isn’t about how I am super Mom.  It’s about why I find it so hard to say no. Let me show you all the work (volunteer and paid) I have going on:

VOLUNTEER WORK

• Daisy Girl Scout Leader
• Girl Scout School Coordinator
• PTCO Website Creation & Maintenance
• School Website Creation & Maintenance (hopefully these two sites will be combined soon)
• High School Girls Basketball Yearbook Creation

PAID WORK

• Graphic Designer Full Time
• Ebay Consignment for local fellow
• Husband’s Personal Training Site & Newsletter (Technically not paid, but the more he makes, the more WE make.)

WORK I DO FOR ME

• The Bookworm Blog – A book review site
• Homes Made Right – The blog you are reading which is random family and life issues

So, this is what I have going on at the moment.  There is another business I run, but I’ve been kind of slow on getting it going and that is as a Barefoot Books Ambassador. They have a beautiful line of children’s books, cd’s and gifts…and really so much more.  Oh, and a blog to go with it, that hasn’t gone anywhere yet.  Maybe in my spare time I’ll get to it. (yeah, spare time…when the kids are grown.  hee hee)

Anyway, the area I really struggle in is the volunteer work.  I’ve been doing girl scouts for 11 years so it’s more of a way of life for our family.  But when other issues come up in the kids school, I just have a hard time saying no. I believe it stems from the fact that I want so much to be a good mother to my children.  I want them to know that I care about them, their education and their well-being.  The problem is that, well, they are kids….they don’t give a darn….yet.  I know someday they will look back and see what I’ve done was for their good…won’t they??

Another thought that occurs to me is that my ego likes what I do.  I like being known at my children’s school.  I like people recognizing me. I like people knowing what I do for my children.  I relate so much to my role as mother that I want everyone to see me and think “Wow.  What a good mom!”   Is that a bad thing?  I guess it certainly can be, if that need interferes with the balance in my life.

I know I’m not the only one to struggle with this. So, how do you stop yourself when you are on this road?

Endless. Birthday. Parties.

I don’t know about you other moms, but I get kinda tired of every weekend having birthday parties for my kids classmates.  Now maybe because I have 5 kids, it always seems like we have a party to go to, but I know Moms with only 1 kid that is just as busy as mine are. We are forever buying birthday gifts for our kids classmates.   Running to the store for a gift, gift bag, card and tissues paper.  So a couple of years ago, I joined a company called Cello In A Box.  I sell gift wrap, bags, ribbons, cello, and so much more.  I’ve never really run the business aspect of it, really.  I’ve only used it to get the discount on the products since we use so much of it.   I receive a 20% discount by entering my code into every order.  CIAB has such a wide range of products and they are always adding new items so I never have to use the same item over and over.  C’mon you know you always reuse those gifts bags….

 

If you are looking for a home based business, this one is different, and this one is fun! If you are involved in direct sales already, you will spice up your prodcuts that will result in more sales with our company.  Products that will simplify lives and make life easier at home and in business. And this weekend only, they are offering

 $3.99 New Rep Sign Ups

 How do you sign up?  Go to the web site www.celloinabox.com and click on shop online.  From there you will register as a customer and place your order choosing your starter kit. (The small one is the kit you get for the $3.99 special) You will also need to send  a signed agreement which you can find on the site as well under representative information.  We prefer you fax or mail your agreements and not scan them as they contain information that is unsafe to send through email.  Once we receive your information, we will set up your new account within 48 hours and your kit will be on the way!  And I can help you every step of the way.  From sign up to helping you get customers and much more!

If you sign up, there is a drop down box in the order process where you can choose a representative who introduced you to CIAB.  They would be your sponsor and the person who would help you get started.  That would be me, Deanna Gibbons. So please choose me and then email me to let me know you’ve signed up so I can send you a special gift and help you get started!

Potty Humor? Not as funny as you would expect

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know I have 5 children.  Four daughters and our one and only son, “the King” who is the baby of the family. After having 4 kids, I never anticipated being clueless about parenting a boy. But I begrudgingly admit it.  Boys are completely different beings from birth. Aside from the need for constant attention from his Mommy, he is much more inquisitive than the girls ever were. (though the Pro comes pretty close)

So anyway, we’ve all heard the horror stories about cheeky little children stuffing Lord knows what into toilets and causing havoc, not to mention some hefty financial woes.  But surprisingly, with my four daughters, I  never had it happen.  But then came the much anticipated “King”,  who changed a whole lot of what I know about parenting.  About a week ago, I was down in my room with my husband watching a movie while the kids were up in the living room doing various kid activities, such as tv, computer and general mess making.  After a few minutes, I suddently realized it was awfully quiet upstairs, so I went up to inspect.  Other than the Pro seated at the computer, the room was empty. Knowing my kids, I decided to go up to their rooms to see what they were doing, when lo and behold I passed the small bathroom near the living room.  And what do I find but a very wet little boy, with the whole roll of toilet paper down the toilet, a floor that is covered in water and a plunger in his hand.  Now this nearly 2 year old boy whom I couldn’t get to even SIT on a potty this last month was having a ball playing in one.  I plucked him out of the bathroom, cleaned him up and dressed him and went down to deal with the toilet. It tooks some time to get it cleaned up and the toilet flushed but eventually I did. I thought everything was fine.

10:15pm Friday evening rolls around and the Pro flushes the toilet. It promptly starts overflowing and spilling out all over the place, dripping down through the floor  air vent. (who puts one on the floor in a bathroom??)  After exhausting every dirty towel in the house to clean it up, we then used clean ones.  With every last towel soaked with disgusting toilet water, the mess was cleaned up.  I tried for 10 minutes to unclog the drain and hubby tried for another 15.  We finally gave up and left it. Closed the door and the next day called the plumber.  He said he could snake it for $60.  Okay, not bad.

Some 3 hours and $300 later, it was fixed.  He actually had to pull the toilet off and get some kind of machine in to get this done.  Turns out, not only was toilet paper shoved down the toilet, but so was some type of paper towel. (I bet money it was actually a few baby wipes though).  Luckily we rent and so it was covered by our landlord.  Okay so there are some pluses to renting as opposed to owning. Man, is this what the next 16 years will be like now that I have a son??  Why didn’t someone warn me?

Get a Grip

Have  you ever gone through a time in your life when you lost faith in your ability to cope?  Not me…well, until recently.   Now, let me preface all this post with this statement. I’m not saying life is terrible for me.  I have moved to a place that has been my dream for the last 10 years.  I have a GREAT job with a boss who understands what it’s like to be a working mother of 5.  I’m closer to my husband than I’ve ever been.  And I have 5 amazing kids!  Things could definitely be worse.  I’m grateful that God has blessed my life is so many ways.

I have always prided myself on being able to handle any issues and problems that come my way.  Not only handle them, but do it gracefully.  But in the last year or so, this ability has begun to subside.  I have cried more in the last year than I have in the ten years that preceded our move. I have yelled more at my kids than ever. I’ve hid in a bathroom trying to hold in my emotions. Yes, there have been a few problems, mostly with the kids adjusting to our new life.  But it shouldn’t be enough to make me melt down. 

Maybe the wall of my heart is broken because I’m away from my parents and siblings.  Which, in the technological age we live in, shouldn’t be a problem.  I still call and talk to my family members almost every week.  It just doesn’t seem to be the same as being there, ya know?

Not only that, but I’m finding loneliness to be a problem. Please, don’t ask me how that can be when I have 6 people in my household.  But I don’t have any friends here yet to talk to, hang out with. And yes, as I said, I’m closer to my husband than I have been in 14 years. But with that comes this new clinginess I never knew was in me.  He recently went to visit his father for 4 days with 2 of the kids, and I was so sad without him.  I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to call him, but I didn’t. 

And on top of all this, I’m feeling like I’m not doing anything to make progress with my life.  I’m just feeling discontent. So all this new emotion is overwhelming and I’m just not knowing how to deal with it, except as usual to try and push it down deep. But that’s getting harder by the day. 

Anyone ever feel this way?  How did you deal with it?

Til next time,

Dee

Mommy Guilt….It’s Real

I’ve encountered something this last week that I’m having a difficult time dealing with, so I’m coming to you, my faithful readers, to help me through this.

As you know, we moved from our hometown in Michigan to Colorado.   The kids seem to adjust fairly well, though The Pro and PopQueen both were upset about moving away from their friends.  We stayed with family for a couple months before we found a place to rent. This meant the kids moved into a new school district twice.  The second one, was the one we were aiming for from the start because they are the best in the state and we want a good education for them so they can have a future.

So now, after being at the new school for a couple months, The Pro’s grades started slipping.  I was checking the schools parent portal, Powerschool, weekly.  I kept asking her why the problems and she would just shrug and say the work was harder.  A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from school saying she had been skipping, they talked to her, gave her a warning, etc. So we took her phone away temporarily and told her it would be permanent if she skipped again and I would pull her from the basketball team.  Then, last week we received a letter from her school.  She has been SKIPPING classes again.  She was suspended for a day and told she was breaking the law. She had like 17 absences in various classes and many more tardies.  We talked to her about it in a meeting at the school, with no communication on her part.  We (her parents) talked to her, mostly we talked, because she wouldn’t.  We took her phone, PSP, MP3 player and everything electronic away and pulled her from the team.  (She has since gone back because the team had 2 injuries leaving them up the creek without enough players and I felt it was her responsibility) Since then she hasn’t skipped, which is good, but I’m really struggling with this.

We’ve always talked to our kids about the importance of education.  We’ve always told them they are expected to either go to college or the military. She’s a great kid and we have never had any major problems with her. I’m struggling to understand why she’d do this.  With only 2 years of school left, doesn’t she see how important her education is…. Did we make the wrong decision by moving them away from everyone/thing they knew?  How do I convince her that she has to look to the future instead of looking to the past? Should I find a way to work at home so that I’m there for the kids, cuz I certainly am struggling with that myself?  When does this mommy guilt go away?  Never, I’m sure, but how do you deal with it.  Please, tell me how to deal with it…I’m feeling like the worst parent on the planet, ya know?